Clap Hands 
factories and smoke
onsdag, mars 05, 2003
corbett and i got sick of writing about old school. well we really didn't. but we didn't have anything left to say after one paragraph. so we wrote a stream of consciousness article. la voici.
We saw Old School. We liked it; it had a nice soundtrack and several funny scenes that would be infinitely less funny if we told you about them; therefore, we have decided to replace this review with a stream of consciousness account of whatever dark and twisted subconscious is governing us.
Should we get some music juice (aka heroine—aptly named considering Kurt Cobain, Elliott Smith and the Velvet Underground) Janis joplin did heroine but she wasn’t pretty, pretty Nico was pretty put she had a funny accent plus she did the rest of the band what to write without sounding fake cause you know it’s all just in our head well I’m typing rrite now and thinking too hard about this.
Now every time I write I have to think too hard because I can only see a sea of green ink, thanks mrs. Gordon VOTE Sometimes I think about god. And I thank him that I am human because if I were any other species my slow and pathetic self would have succumb to the law of evolution a long time ago but I wouldn’t know I was missing out on anything because if I were another species I wouldn’t know my misfortune
People are vain like me because all anyone wants is a new pair of shoes and their picture all over the yearbook so everyone can look at it and that’s why when people get their photos developed they doFOR see the picture they only look at themselves cause they think that everyone is like them and will notice every aspect about them like what amount of skin was showing or whether or not they looked good but really everyone else is just looking at themselves and thinking the same thing. No all we really want is sex. We are hardwired to want to procreate and everything we do eventually goes back to making ourselves more attractive mates. Want a new car? Sure you do, to get a pretty little cheerleader. Want to go to a good college? I bet, having an education makes you money and nothing gets you laid like money. sorry sorry don’t apologize but you do. And that leads me to preparation. We prepare for college in a college preparatory school and then college prepares us for a job and responsible citizenship but I cant help to wonder what consequence it all has considerSAMing…
Psshshshhshshssh so whats with music cause everyone says music inspires them but you look at people and you wonder what the hell they’re listening to. Cause we’re all different and some of us have talent and others don’t and others think they do and other s know they don’t and when you all put themFOR together well who knows this is what happens when you think too hard on purpose cause you can tell when it’s not a real thought and you had to force yourself to think about it cause you’re writing a special special way the thing about music is I use it to replace thoughts I try to find a music that fits my mood and then I don’t have to think about it just use some other guy’s thoughts to replace your own but that’PRESIDENTs dangerous because eventually you just stop thinking and have a song in your head so silence is good to sometimes.
There is something romantic about bullfights. There has got to be a poem somewhere in that—something about the bull bleeding to death and half dazed but not realizing it and just feeling a little sleepy and following the cape—crimson—sexual reference there it is proof that everything leads back to sex.
And I’d just love to talk about that more but I have trouble thinking about things that make me uncomfortable like war and plague and injustice like watching some kid get called names and just watching and watching but you don’t say anything cause that would draw you into something that wouldn’t be pretty for you cause you’re such a wuss so that’s why you never watch the news but still talk like you do. NicO!
Awkward silences really aren’t that bad. You just have to think of them as a filter and look around at other people squirming under the weirdness of it and thinking they have to say something but if you just be calm and collected then you sort of rise above that and can watch. That filter thing, what I meant there was that if you find people with no awkward silences then they are promising candidates.
And you promised it wouldn’t be awkward but now it is. Sometimes I, like now, I can’t think of anything concrete cause I’m thinking too hard but I think about something so much that it stops existing in the real world and it just gets blown out of proportion inside my head like some grandpa telling a war story that sounds great to his grandkids but really it wasn’t anything big all he nononono it’s not like that at all. I need to work on my metaphors. Like I need to take better care of my nails.
Obviously this is just the drivel of teen angst but there’s something to that. What is teen angst anyway? Just a coming realization of things or maturity? At the teenage years we have some of the sharpest mental moments in our lives so maybe our teen angst is the most genuine way of looking at things and the rest is just a sedated and subdued perception of things.
But sometimes when I’m sad I get even sadder cause I wonder if anything I feel is actually real or just a byproduct of caffeine or hormones. Cause there’s nothing more depressing than realizing that you’re down because a couple cells inside your body shifted during the night.
Then you feel guilty because some people actually have shit to be depressed about and you are sitting in your nuclear family and feeling bad. You don’t really have much of a right do you? Or if you do then what does that say? Are we hardwired for disappointment? If even people who aren’t supposed to feel bad feel bad anyway then who in the hell doesn’t feel bad?
Teen angst. What makes it worse is when people tell you that these are the best years of your life and you see yourself spending the best years of your life sitting in front of a computer and stressing because you won’t have enough time to study. Which is why we have priorities.
I always had sugar coated perceptions of my next age milestone which is a little scary because then you just end up anticipating another time until there isn’t another one. But then again not necessarily.
How long is a milestone? Oh god not a time debate oh god what is time. “Time is an essence not a quantity” (thanks Jo Mo) “time tells me when to go to school” time is overrated.
Time is just a measure of change without change there is no time that was jonnys whole trouble no change. Eye contact is underrated too.
Do you ever feel that sometimes when you think or say something or feel something that you’re far too sober to be thinking or saying or feeling whatever. Like you’re under far too few influences to ask why. You can almost smell what your lacking. Maybe it’s cause there are other influences to make up for the ones that are too obvious. But im not completely convinced that those influences change who I am so much as just reveal who I am. We all change for social or moral reasons a little when we’re sober but when we’re not we forget about some of those restrictions and act on our real selves. The trick is to remember what it’s like to forget the restrictions when you’re sober so that you can. You know. TIME TO EDITTTT!!!YASYAYAY D
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