Clap Hands 
factories and smoke
søndag, desember 29, 2002
hmmmm
i guess this'll teach me not to drink caffeine at night. even if it's tea. or maybe i shouldn't sleep so much during the day. whatever. I'm not even looking at the clock. oh.. oh...here I go. shit 4:15. goddammit how does this happen? this is how: let some dry mouthed nerd ; ) stay at your house till midnight then watch tv till godknowshowlong then upstairs to finish your tamany hall book (which actually references to Gangs of New York when it was a book) and start the one Pia gave me. then after I tell myself to sleep, i realize that i can't...so then to listen to Bright Eyes....which I'm still doing. it's a long album. it's good, but jesus christ, his songs don't end. that's ok with me though. I've been wanting to write a review of it, and by that I mean that in the past lifetime or however long I've been up listening to it, it has struck me that I could say stuff about it. in fact, I want to set up some links on this damn page but don't know enough about html besides what few boys can tip me off about. plus, i've only written one musical review about a band i had been listening to since i was a wee one....but it would still be grand. and corboto and I still have to write a movie review or two. we got time.
so i get up and go to the bathroom to look out the window, but i don't have my glasses, so it doesn't do much good for me. so, insomnia + laptop computer = late night blogging. this is just like all the essays I write for school: all the points are out of order, and I recquire revision to make sure all is in check. but even proofreading is useless and in this situation, totally unnecessary.
where do the boys hang out in this city? huh?
what am I going to do for the rest of this break? I can't fucking dream it away like I've been doing. it would be nice to make up for where my PSAT scores and partying let me down and actually do something worth talking about. i could at least work on the trip album. Speaking of my summer voyage, it is utterly depressing to think that that was one of the best times of my life and I just can't see anything being as great as it was. jay sus. god I sound so fucking dumb and petty. ah well. make your own damn web page if you want to read something else.
i need to expand. get a personality. be able to answer someone honestly when they ask me, "how are you? really?" i need to be happy with how I fucking look. Kelly Osbourne's new song is the worst piece of shit. i'm totally disappointed.
he said I think I'm cured
in fact I'm sure
thank you stranger
for your therapeutic smile.
that's not from kelly osbourne's song. that's track 6 of Bright eyes' latest cd. I don't know the title. it's probably some philosophical quote.
you know what I sound like? like I did when I was on painkillers after my wisdom teeth were out. I was so crazy.
the other day
i realized ( i know it sounds unbelievable and makes me seem very naive) that when I drink coffee, i am not myself. so then I realized that at that moment, I was coffee free, and I was myself with no outside influences (including hair dye) and I was a drowsy person with a headache. so that was sad/silly.
this really fast sports car (red) drove past me and I saw it was being driven by a priest and i was like, "merry christmas, sir" but not really. I mean, why would I call him "sir?"
i wanted to blog all the time but I couldn't cause I just didn't have the spirit to do it. which is sooo nerdy of me to say, you know...that posting on a website recquires "spirit." i think i've been spelling that word wrong
i got a lecture from my mom tonight no....last night remember it's early morning. because I didn't tell her where I was going. which prevented me from dancepartying tonight. who cares. not moi.
maybe I"ll change the colors to this page. make it mine. you know?
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